Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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