he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
