you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
