yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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