i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
