Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
