if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
this beer tastes like vomit already
I am full of burrito and curiosity
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
