if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
