I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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