i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
