Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
