I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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