I swear she didn't look like that last week.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
