I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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