so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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