Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
