I feel great
I just peed on a car
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
