so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
