You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
