You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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