And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
