about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
