Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
