i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
