does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
