I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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