If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
