i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
