Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
