when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
