I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
