That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
