it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
how drunk are you?
Several
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
