you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
