she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
