Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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