sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
