So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
