I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize