I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
