ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
