Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
