walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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