I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
