Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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