this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
