ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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