Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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