he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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