at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
