I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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